We were close, so close to ending this lunacy. But you gave up, why did you? And I gave in, why did I?
This story has been running for an unusual number of years, years I dare not specify. We’ve been running and hiding from what appears to be the truth, in hopes that we could escape the dreaded. But we were running towards the dreaded, didn’t you realize? All this time, we thought this insanity was doing us a favor.
Do you see what it did to us? Do you see what it caused us?
It tore us apart.
You’re loathing me, and I could only lament how you embraced the conviction that this is how it’s bound to happen.
I continued living, believing I was as scarred, completely and deeply, as you. I was desolate and hopeless. You were everything that I breathe, and you stopped living that purpose. I waited for a long time to get to you, only to be repeatedly crushed by the walls around you.
You were my purpose, and then my hope, and then the only thing that kept me alive.
You were something, someone, and then nothing and no one.
You were all and then nothing to me.
I thought I’ve finally broken free.
But seeing you like that resurrects the pain and the guilt.
But seeing you like that crushes me.
Because I know I did this. I did this to us. I did that to you.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.