Hold onto this

When you’re in love,
the utter brevity of things suffices

Like this

Like the soft smile you gave me unwillingly,
or the short-lived clasping of our hands
before a judgmental crowd.

The slight disappointment on your face
when I said I have to go,
or the silence that came after it.

The post-midnight chill––
the force that pulls me back to you––
and those blind steps which took me
farther and farther away from you.

Or that heart-wrenching pain
when I looked back
and saw your eyes welling in tears.

But tonight,
I drown you in superfluous nonsense,
in ambiguity, in verbosity,
in hopes to evade the true
and only purpose of this.

For once,
I’ll embrace the power and beauty
of silence, of calmness,
and lock you in a warm
and tight hug.

This fighting isn’t getting us anywhere.
You can’t cry forever, curse me forever.

But, let me assure you this

When you’ve exhausted
everything you have––your dreams,
the weight you carried on your shoulders––

I will open your clenched fists
and hold your hands much tighter.

And when everything starts to crumble,
starts to lose its significance,

take refuge in my arms.

They may be slender,
but I will never let you go.

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Ambiguity

Prompt: I wish I had the guts to walk away and forget about what we had. But, I can’t because I know you won’t come after me.

And I guess that’s what hurts the most. 

A crumbling mind, a crumbling heart, a crumbling body
Happiness became synonymous to you
but so did anxiety and dependence

You see, this here is what I have been dreading
I saw it coming yet I didn’t dodge
–– I wouldn’t
–– I couldn’t

Now every inch of me is shaking
collapsing
disintegrating into tiny bits

I said I wasn’t afraid to hurt
I said you couldn’t break what’s already broken
I didn’t think there were more to destroy,
More things to leave barren

So here I am dissolving
shattering
fragmenting into pieces

The you that had become happiness
had morphed into grief and melancholy

Braver and better, happier than ever
the day you happened made me fragile like I was never

A crumbling mind, a crumbling heart, a crumbling body
Anxiety and dependence became synonymous to you
but so did happiness